Hermit Crabs Carry Their Homes Around...

... but we have to find one to live in and pay for it. Hermit crabs are so much smarter than people.
The movers come in a week and a half and we move in less than two weeks.

We're trying to be grown up and buy, but it's still expensive and we're so very new at this grown up thing. For instance, I called about a lovely house today, but it's in escrow... what does that mean? I don't really know... but it means I can't have it.This is us on Christmas morning. I gave Jon a kitchen utensil and he gave me Irish Cream... hmm...

We are discombobulated around here. We want someone else to find the perfect house at the perfect price that we'll make money off of when we move and have it move-in-ready in two weeks. Is that so much to ask?

*sigh*

On a positive note... WE'RE MOVING TO SAN DIEGO IN TWO WEEKS!!!! Oh. the. joy.

Birds Have Them...

...And so do Naval Aviators! Jon got his wings on Friday and we couldn't be happier. Oh the joy of anticipation satisfied!

I put the wings on crooked the first time, so we had to do a second official picture.

I punched them in, like a good military wife should.
I love this. Everyone looking straight ahead, except Jon, looking at me.

Soft Patch Ceremony
Adam & Anne came to the winging to cheer for the newly winged Aviator.

A La David Sedaris

Since I sincerely hope all four of you read this blog so that you can laugh at me, I wanted to share something that makes me laugh every time I read it. Open letters. Be sure to read the archived letters at the bottom, too. I aspire to this kind of joyful sarcasm. Merry Scroogish Christmas.

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/openletters/

Cream of Wheat is Disgusting

Today I tried an instant cream of wheat package that I got free. It was strawberries and cream flavor, so I thought it would be okay. Nope.

The first bite was a "meh". Which, as I should know by now, means that the rest would get worse and worse. Henry was begging for some. "You don't know it, but you don't want this," I told him, "You would say, 'why did you give that to me? what a bad owner to give me such awful stuff!'". He begged still and I took a second bite. It was definitely worse. In the ten seconds that I had taken to warn Henry, the consistency had passed bad and gone to toture worthy. I'm pretty sure cream of wheat will be the new weapon of evil dictators. Henry ran off and ran back again just in time for my third bite, which I put off to give him some. He liked it. He likes dead worms, too.

I started thinking about something else to distract myself so that I could choke it down. Milk. Milk was a good thought. Milk to wash down this icky sludgy meal that tasted like processed strawberry powder. Since those little instant packets are about the size of my thumb, there weren't many more bites, so I ate the rest. But I gagged on the last two bites. Full out gagged. I never gag. I love food. Cream of wheat must be made from the toenails of Nazi spies to induce such a reaction from me.

My mouth was pretty mad at me by this time. My mouth and I hate throwing up and gagging is awfully akin to throwing up, so I had to satiate myself with some milk. That helped. We're friends again, but its kind of conditional. No more cream of wheat.

If you like cream of wheat, feel free to comment, but I won't be swayed by your weedling to eat Nazi toenails. That's just gross.

This is How I Feel About... This Christmas

This will be the first of many officially titled "This is How I Feel About" posts. Not because you care, but because I do.

So this is how I feel about this upcoming Christmas (in fifteen (WHAT?) days).

The first thing I feel is annoyed. Who spends three Christmases in Pensacola? Three. Oh how I swore that I would not spend more than two. Oh how the Husband Aviator and I laughed at the ridiculous possibility of it all in our youth and naivety. Oh how the Navy will work so very hard to thwart your hopes and expectations. Oh. Ho. Ho.

The second thing I feel is a bit unmotivated, after this Fall. Let's review, shall we? New puppy who was not so good at the housebreaking, starting grad school full time, working part time, leading a study, having a Husband Aviator finishing advanced and not being able to get pregnant for the stinkin' life of me... and then finals. I passed the housebreaking the dog final, passed the part time work final, passed the study-leading final, passed three grad school finals so far and failed the baby-making final (again) with only an Epidemiology final to go till I collapse and say, "Please someone decorate my house for Christmas and bring me some damn eggnog."

Finally, I feel very grateful. For the following reasons: 1) I love Christmas and it got cold in Pensacola, so it really feels like late Fall (it never feels like winter in Pensacola, but I'll take what I can get). (2) Barnes and Nobles time with the Husband Aviator because I'm *almost* done with finals and he won't be busy for long because... (3) He is getting his wings next week! The Navy is done torturing him with pushed back wingings and the Hus is going to be all grown up next week. For which I am so proud and so grateful. Joy to the World, Let Jon receive his wings.

And also Joy to the World because the Lord is come, which is, admittedly more important, but I'm not one to pass up a pun if it has the potential to make me look clever.

Now I am going to go study diarrheal disease (I couldn't wait to tell you all that!) so that I can pass my final and refill the home with carbohydrates and mistletoe.

Merry Christmas.

Monday Night

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Laugh With Me

In watching a video on Montgomery County's (MD) new Minority Health Initiatives, I noticed the following statement:

ALL Asian Americans do not enjoy a high socioeconomic status, are not well educated, good at math and healthy.

Then they show a picture of a cute, well-dressed, put-together Asian girl.

... I happen to know a few Asian Americans who are well off, well educated, good at math and healthy... so maybe they're telling us that those who are, just don't enjoy these things... or maybe they are telling us the the makers of the video are not well educated... we may never know, but we can sure get a kick out of it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWeqvIlXxgc

It's Not You, It's Pensacola... Except When it's You...

I received the following email today:

Dear Rebekah,

Thank you for submitting your resume to HealthPort for consideration.

We are fortunate to have many qualified candidates apply to each of our positions. We have reviewed the qualifications of each candidate and after careful consideration, we have determined that the credentials of other candidates may better fit our needs at this time.

Please accept our best wishes and thank your for your interest in HealthPort.

Cordially,
Human Resources
HealthPort


I do not remember applying to this company, which means it was in my last round of "I-can't-get-a-job panic" applications. Which was well over a year ago. Over a year, folks.

I've realized that long-delayed rejection isn't so bad. In fact, it makes me feel better about myself that this company is that disorganized. "Hah," I say to myself, "I may not have a big girl job, but I sure am more organized than that! They couldn't even handle my put-togetherness."

So I'll just put on my pencil skirt and pantyhose and make dinner tonight. Barefoot, un-employed and in the (well-organized) kitchen. Boo-ya!