Wednesday, April 28, 2010

We have a bell on the back door that Henry rings when he needs to go out...

...Which is why I was concerned when I heard it ring at 3am this morning and both Henry and my husband were snoring next to me. I listened for the sound that had woken me up and heard another rustle of the bell. Then another.
*snort*... silence... Jon tensed up, "What is it?"
I explained what I had heard and that Henry was asleep next to me (as if his blissful snores weren't enough evidence). We had a quick, whispered conversation. Jon volunteered that it might have been an earthquake (these things happen out here), but I could tell he wasn't about to go back to sleep. He leaned over and I heard a round chamber. He slowly (too slowly for my adrenaline-induced brain) got up and almost as slowly walked out into the hallway. I pulled the covers up to my chin and prayed it was an earthquake. I could hear Jon walking around, checking rooms.

Meanwhile, Henry got up and sleepily walked over to see what Jon was doing. He stayed in the hallway, "investigating", for 20 seconds, then waltzed back in and streeeetched lazily before jumping onto his bed and settling down to fall back asleep. Useless dog.

Finally, I heard the back door being checked (it sounded locked) and lights going on. Jon came back in and everything was fine. I felt guilty. I also had to pee. Jon accompanied me to the bathroom. We talked. I apologized. I blamed the earthquake. Jon volunteered that I may have been hearing things, but neither of us could get to sleep for a while, so Jon read the manual on our alarm system, which will now be used.

This is not a far cry from the nights in college when we would call Megan's then-boyfriend to walk through the house with a butcher knife to make sure all the axe-murders were somewhere else. That's what good men do. They humor the women who are certain they heard something and who scare the crap out of their men. That's what makes them good men. Also, that's what makes the women feel a little guilty and blame it on an earthquake.

I made Jon pancakes this morning. He deserved it.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

This is Ridiculous

I have no excuse. I am a five-year old with ADHD. I have been sitting at the computer (or running from it) all day and I still have five pages left. Which, admittedly, isn't much, but gosh. I'm so ready to be done. I'm willing to do anything else, but write. Except maybe have a plane crash into my house, but you get my point.

I have: stared at my expanding belly, which now covers the top of my shorts, so I can't see my waistband anymore... I know... you just looked down to see if you could see your waistband. That's what makes us friends.

I have: eaten everything in my kitchen that I don't hate. Which isn't much, so I've gorged myself on what I do like. Also, I ate some fruit today, so don't judge. I'm feeding Baby Boy, who needs lots of food. Seriously. He's gonna be huge and healthy and therefore come weeks early. That's my plan.

I have: consumed mass quantities of water and gotten very excited when I have to use the bathroom, because it's a legitimate excuse to get up, for which the angel on my shoulder cannot get angry with me. She has to pee, too.

All of this and God thought it a good idea to give me a little boy (all little boys come with preexisting ADD).

This is ridiculous.

Three Random and Unrelated Facts

1) The more water I drink, the more often I'm thirsty. So much for thirst being a sign of dehydration.

2) I am a writing machine. As of today, I will have completed and turned in one ten and two fifteen-page papers. All written in about the span of a week, since I had all semester to do them. That makes sense.

3) A homeless man once told Jon he laughed like a 500-pound gorilla. Jon bought him a hamburger.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

We Are Having a Man Child

Our Current Family... Jon, me and our first child (he's adopted).
Our second child (he's normal).

Monday, April 5, 2010

I'm Supposed to Be Writing a Paper

But my paper is on boring things and it just occurred to be that the worst job in the world must be being a colorectal surgeon. You spend all day staring up butts, analyzing butts and writing up reports on...anuses. In addition to the gross factor (which otherwise could be rivaled by veterinarians), there is significant awkwardness that is attached to that activity. "Oh my, do you have a bad case of hemorrhoids, Mr Jones... could you just hold still a moment longer?"

I imagine that in med school, they have a lottery system and the smart kids get something like dermatology and as the list goes on and get less good, "pediatrics... gerontology... orthopedics..." nerves begin to cause sweating until finally, "And the last three, Bob, Joe and Jim get colorectal surgery." Cursing ensues.

I can just see it. That's why I didn't go to med school. I'm not smart enough for dermatology or brain surgery and I'd end up plugging my nose all day.

Back to my paper... for a degree I'll probably never use. But at least I didn't go to med school.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Point Loma With a View

The Mother-in-Law was recently in town. We had loads of fun, but got hardly any pictures. These are at the public launch at Point Loma:

The In-laws bought us this while they were here. We are so blessed. Our child is already so spoiled.