1) The more water I drink, the more often I'm thirsty. So much for thirst being a sign of dehydration.
2) I am a writing machine. As of today, I will have completed and turned in one ten and two fifteen-page papers. All written in about the span of a week, since I had all semester to do them. That makes sense.
3) A homeless man once told Jon he laughed like a 500-pound gorilla. Jon bought him a hamburger.