Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Baby Class

Baby class is watching videos of babies being born and babies being nursed. Which means baby class is wondering how second babies ever get made if the husband is present at the first birth... and is not blind.

Baby class is practicing contractions with relaxation techniques. Which means baby class can get a bit awkward when 19 women are pretending to be in pain, while holding various birthing positions and breathing in "hee"s and "hoo"s as their partners look uncomfortably on.

Baby class is comparing the size of your baby bump to 18 other baby bumps and trying to calculate how long it will take each one of you to look normal again. And hoping you will look normal again.

Baby class is a tool to show how very immature you and your partner are, because you still follow many of the instructors comments with, "that's how we got into this mess..." whispered in each others ears and you find yourself snickering at videos the rest of the class is taking very seriously.

Baby class is showing up with Starbucks coffee and feeling awkward because all the other pregnant mothers are sipping water and eating fruit.

Baby class is wondering if you can get an epidural just to tide you over until the end of the car seat video.

Baby class is wondering if you can just adopt the rest.

5 comments:

Megan said...

Gosh, Thank you. I've been anxiously awaiting something interesting on the internet today. Probably should've gone to a coffee shop. Or hit my head against the wall.

But none the less, I can't help but think that the 18 other mother's must be jealously eyeing your tiny baby body that only gains the weight in the tummy from the baby. Don't take that for granted skinny momma. You might make people mad. Some people are going to hate you post-baby.

Brett Baker said...

I want to be like you when I'm pregnant--coffee, skinnyness and all. This was hilarious.

Daniel and Sarah said...

Yes, we do hate your skinny prego butt...especially, since you called me tiny the last time...hahaha...I wasn't! ;) And baby class is hilarious. And something you only do with the first child. Oh and I guess the hubby just forgets because after Nolan was born Daniel's words were "I saw way more of that than I planned to" i.e. everything haha and we are just fine ;) Oh and this is our last one. If we want more than two children we plan on adopting the rest.
And...
your blog makes me smile

Fred & Janet said...

Love it, Bek! Ah, get ready for the ride of your lives -- and the childbirth experience is only the beginning!
Love,
ButterDad (for ButterMom)

Rachel said...

Baby class is comparing your bump to the rest of the Moms, trying to figure out when they're all due, and hoping that your bump is relatively smaller than their bump.

...or was that just me?