Wednesday, October 19, 2011

A Dear Jon Letter

Why write two updates in one evening? Here is an excerpt of tonight's spousely email for your reading pleasure:

Henry won't shut up. He barks ALL the TIME now and he's SO loud and he won't stop when I tell him to and if you get a box in the mail with breathing holes in it, it might not be Nate. It's possible that I've sent the Navy a top-of-the-line alarm system that runs on table scraps. And by runs, I mean walks, because running is past the capacity of this particular model. It's slightly defective. But there's nothing wrong with the volume. This one goes to eleven.

I love you more than I love cold weather, chocolate cake, eyeliner, Henry, massages, boots, throw pillows, Stella Artois, cute undies, umbrellas, our Element, whiskey, clean sheets and cheese... combined... plus 20. Which is to say... a lot.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

Disclaimer: I am a much nicer person than this post makes me seem.

When I dogsit barking hounds (thankfully, Crockett's one saving grace is that he doesn't do it much at all) and they are driving me bonkers, I fill a water bottle (the type you would use while biking...a squeezy one that shoots a stream of water with force) with water and I sit outside, and I wait.

When the dog barks, I spring to life and squirt them with the water. You can bet they stop barking at casa de Scott pretty quick. I have deterred dogs from barking, chewing my trees, digging holes, and eating poop with this method.

PS, the spray attachment on the kitchen sink works well also.

PPS, I hope I have not come across as cruel. I probably have. Sigh. Oh well. You do what you have to do. :)