Things I've Learned Since I've Grown Up

Coffee
Real conversation: Jon begins fishing in his coffee, Me: "What's in there?" Jon: "A fly.... I think this is a good way to catch 'em"
Lesson: coffee left out catches bugs. Double gross.


Multivitamins.
They make bad food good. A multivitamin may be mixed with a brownie to cancel out the "empty calories".
Lesson: you can BS healthy living. Also, they turn your pee neon colors. Interesting.


...and one I've learned today:
Apartment Living
When you hear a flatulent noise while in the bathroom, do not assume it is your husband in the other room and thus yell out, "HEY!" very loudly. It may turn out that your husband had nothing to do with the noise. In which case, one of your neighbors, perhaps upstairs, thinking they were alone, let out some gas, only to hear a small voice from downstairs yell, "HEY!" as though offended. Embarrassing.